Music has been with me for 50 years. When my father found out about my birthday, he played Wagner’s „Tanheuser” at maximum volume in the apartment on Wschodnia Street. Lodz. As soon as I arrived home as a bundle, music began to trickle into my ear.

It was almost always classical music (with a few exceptions, where there was some space for The Beatles). Records, cassettes or reel-to-reel tapes were played over and over again, so I acquired knowledge naturally. I was shaped into a music lover, mainly by my father, who, despite his later fate, was a promising pianist in his youth.

I don’t play any instrument. OK, I once sang in a choir, apparently with good results, because I have good hearing. I strummed the guitar. I still admire the piano to this day, although the fact that I don’t play was a conscious decision of my parents, who didn’t want me to go through what my father went through as a child, back in the 1930s, spending hours in front of a great instrument…

Classical music is a broad definition. Which composers did I like and like the most? Mainly neo-romanticism, but also Beethoven, Mozart, Tchaikovsky, Prokofiev, Chopin, of course… In first place, however, was Gustav Mahler, whom my father loved so much. His photo always hung in his workplace, which we called „the hole”.

My father loved Mahler’s music, explored the composer’s life and even wrote a novel, largely based on the musician’s biography. He did not finish his work. Fortunately, what he wrote remains to this day. My father never had the opportunity to visit places important in Mahler’s life. Those were different times and the possibilities were very limited. All that was left was imagination. Dad passed away thirty years ago. Today he would be 90 years old. I’m 50.

I must admit that I have passed through Vienna (the most important city in Mahler’s life) countless times. However, I have never visited the city itself. Where did the idea for a birthday trip with my beloved come from? I don’t know, it had to be that way. We liked the city very much, we had plenty of time for the main attractions, visiting galleries, the Prater, a concert of (of course!) classical music, good Wiener Schnitzel, Sacher Torte and delicious coffee.

Finally, a visit to a small, intimate cemetery… located in a quiet district of Vienna. Silence, no visitors. Finding Mahler’s austere grave was not a problem. A flower, or rather a piece of blooming weed, as a decoration. A short prayer. This visit to this place was for you, Daddy. And yes, I am 50 years old. But I want and intend to continue living and be happy. Trivial? Maybe. Real? Yes. After all, everything still depends on me.